All About The Dreaded Home Study

     We have been blown away by the response from the first blog post just a few days ago. It is difficult being so forward with our infertility story. Infertility is honestly one of the loneliest places to be. It has a way of making you feel that you are completely alone and that no one can understand you. In the thick of our story I searched desperately to find people in a similar situation as us through blogs and Instagram. I love that people have reached out to us to explain their own fertility battles and adoption questions just people looking for encouragement. I am so thankful to be able to be that person for them. 

    Since our adoption with Mya people have always had questions about the home study. So we wanted to explain that a little bit further. A home study is one of the first things you need to do when starting the adoption process. It is an intense process and is expensive. The thing we find most encouraging through all the paperwork is having a physical list that we can actually check off, it makes the small stuff that you accomplish and finish feel like big things that get you one step closer to growing your family.

    A homestudy for a first time adoptive family is a series of three visits in your home. Sounds simple right? The first visit the social worker walks through your house, looking for things such as cleanliness, where your chemicals are (those can’t be under your sink anymore) if you have guns in your house, fire alarms, evacuation plan, where the child's room will be in relation to yours, what kind of neighborhood you live in, how you heat your house etc. It is a lot of work to get your house in “tip top” shape but they do let you know the things they look for ahead of time. If the SW sees something that they want you to change you have the next two visits to get that done. The first visit is also all the details of your relationship and marriage and how a child will fit into your family.

     The second visit is the most intimidating. You and your spouse are split up for individual interviews. Each interview was a little over an hour, discussing different life events and how they shaped you into the person you are today. How you learned to cope and move on. This brought up things from my childhood I had forgotten about. It was an interesting feeling when you want so bad to have a child and question your own childhood experience. You also discuss very specific things about every family member, your relationship with them and just the type of person they are and how that will mold how you will parent.

     The third visit is about two hours but you get to be together THANKFULLY. This one is where you discuss all of the online education you have to complete (about 8 hours), how adopting transracially will impact your extended family and questions about how you will incorporate the culture of your child as they grow up. You also discuss a book that you are required to read and write a report on and wrap everything up.

     To be homestudy approved there is a lot of busywork. You have to be FBI fingerprint cleared, cleared for child abuse and neglect in every state you have lived in for the last five years for us that is Maine and Virginia. You need all pet vaccination records and pet registration information. You need to have physicals that include a drug screen, HIV testing and TB testing. Driving records from the last five years, copies of all insurance cards. You need reference letters from family and friends. Shoutout to all of our awesome references. 

     A home study costs about 2,000 dollars. Each clearance costs an additional fee and each clearance is only reliable for a certain time period so it is important to do them quickly so they don't expire while you are still working out some of the other required documentation. 

     We are halfway through our home study. It is a little easier the second time. The second visit is removed because our childhood obviously did not change. We had our first visit on Monday and have our second and last visit this Friday!! Once the home study is done everything seems to move much faster.