Who's Up For Round Two?!

     It's been two years since we brought our beautiful daughter Mya home. She brings so much joy into our family, and oh the sass. 🙈 

     We want to grow our family again, and for Mya to have younger siblings, so last year we started looking into fertility treatment. We got a referral to a specialist at UNC, and set up an appointment with him. It was a strange feeling when we left the office after, it wasn't bad news and dissapointment, and it wasn't great news with a lot of optimism. The doctor didn't know what was wrong. My hormones were normal, everything was normal, and there weren't any direct signs that would give a reason why we couldn't get pregnant. 

     It was almost a repeat of the last time we tried to look into fertility treatment, before we made the decision to adopt the first time. More unknowns, more of "we can try this, but it might not work, or we can try that, but it might not work." We just wanted a door to either be fully opened or fully closed. But instead we got the unknowns. 

     The doctor set up some tests, and even though he didn't know what the problem was, he was very sure that he could figure it out and correct it. We ended up doing a biopsy in a place that no man should ever have a biopsy done... 🙈😂 But the results were not what we had hoped for. Based on the results, I was diagnosed with sperm maturation arrest. Basically it means that my sperm are produced as normal, but right at the last growth stage before the sperm would be considered "mature", the growth just stops. Leaving no "mature" or "usable" sperm.

     From the very first time we learned that I was the reason that we couldn't have biological kids, I thought I was glad it was me and not Jocelyn. I was a man, I wasn't as emotional, I could handle it. It was tolerable the first time, before we decided to adopt Mya. The second time around was much harder. There was guilt, there was resentment, there was misplaced anger. When the thing that your wife wants most, can't be had, and it's because of you, that's an incredibly difficult thing to bear. It was the worst thing we had gone through in our marriage, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

     But, God is faithful! He is good! And even while we are still hurting, we know that He has not changed. He is STILL faithful, He is STILL good. And we trust that He knows what is best for our family.

     So, all that said, we are super excited to say that we are adopting again!! Mom is excited, Dad is excited, Mya is excited! Huie is excited because it means more toddlers he can steal snacks from. We have signed our contract with Faithful Adoption Consultants, and we are working our way through our homestudy. We are praying that COVID-19 doesn't slow us down in getting everything ready. Hoping to have everything ready to go by May!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers as we start this new chapter!

Love,

Ricky, Jocelyn 

& Mya

#venablepartyof4